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Marie Belew Wheatley's Blog

Neighbors Helping Neighbors

Posted October 8, 2009

I recently read an article about an unusual case involving neighbors in Michigan -- a case I first saw as a bureaucracy gone wild. It involved a mother, Lisa Snyder, who was warned by the state to stop running an unregistered day-care operation. Was this mom running an illegal business? No. She was simply being a good friend and neighbor by routinely watching several neighbors’ kids as they waited for the school bus. The bus stop is right in front of her house.

Apparently, someone in the state government thought it was worth sending Ms. Snyder a letter informing her that she was in violation of a law that requires registering as a day-care center when children “are received for care and supervision for periods of less than 24 hours a day, unattended by a parent or legal guardian ... [in] a home in which care is given to an unrelated minor child for more than 4 weeks during a calendar year.”

My first thoughts were, “Are they serious? Isn’t this simply an example of someone helping her fellow neighbors? Isn’t the safety of the children more important than determining if this situation qualifies as ‘day care’?”

Instead of making it more difficult for community members to look out for each other and to help out each other, shouldn’t we be encouraging more people to do the same as Ms. Snyder -- care for children and support families in their communities? Those are good things.

I was relieved to see that once this issue received publicity, the governor and the director of the state agency quickly made statements that neighbors should be able to act neighborly to protect the well-being of their children, and that the law should be changed.

While changing the law so that it doesn’t interfere with neighbors helping neighbors is a good start, I urge the state of Michigan, and every other state, to take an extra step to proactively encourage and support efforts by neighbors to help each other. That’s the very concept behind The Front Porch Project^®, American Humane’s prevention program. One key component is the provision of training to community members to equip them with additional knowledge and skills to help protect children and support parents and families.

The Front Porch Project gets its name from a time when people showed neighborly care and concern for one another. American Humane believes we can bring people back to their “front porches” — which will protect children and strengthen families. The Front Porch Project is built upon recognizing “the power of one,” every person can do something to help, based on their comfort level and abilities.

One of the most recent communities to implement The Front Porch Project is the city of Tulsa, Okla., through coordination by The Parent Child Center of Tulsa. The city was looking to address the overall rate of child abuse and neglect, and the community members were enthusiastic about the opportunity to make a difference for children and families.

Feedback we’ve received from participants in The Front Porch Project community trainings include: “A renewing in the spirit that we need to be aware of what is around us and we can play a role, no matter how big or small, to make changes.” “It empowers you and helps you muster up courage to intervene.” “Permission to get involved and do it in a way that’s acceptable. There’s kind of a hope that our society will return to a more loving and compassionate state.” “You learn how to be a better parent, better citizen, and how to help children in your community.”

It’s encouraging to see community members respond so positively to helping children and supporting families. It reinforces in my mind the positive value of communities that are truly communities, where neighbors help neighbors.
If you want to help in your own community, right now, here are some ideas:

• Offer to babysit the children of a parent who is under stress.
• Talk calmly to a parent who is on the verge of becoming angry with a child.
• Volunteer at or donate to a child- or family-serving agency in your community.
• Advocate for after-school activities for children.
• Show support and empathy for a child or parent by smiling or offering to help.
• Get to know your neighbors and their children.

Do you know your neighbors? Is your neighborhood a collection of households or is it a true community, where neighbors help their neighbors?

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