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Marie Belew Wheatley's Blog

Is it Natural to Be Nice?

Posted October 15, 2009

Two weeks ago, I wrote about selfishness and selflessness, and received a lot of comments. In that blog, I wondered what makes some people act selfishly and inconsiderately, while others act with generosity, empathy and compassion. I just read an article by Christine Kenneally that discusses some fascinating observations on empathy and compassion in animals -- and relates it to humans.

She cites a book by Frans de Waal (The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society), who makes the assertion that “good” qualities, such as empathy and compassion, are as innate and natural in people as “bad” qualities (like selfishness and aggression) have long been thought to be. And that, because some of those good qualities appear in animals, they may be instinctual -- both in animals and in people. Examples she gives from the book include chimpanzees honoring “ownership” and sharing food with their entire community -- as well as consoling chimps whose offspring have died -- and an elephant that stayed by its dying companion.

The discussion raises some interesting concepts and questions. If it’s just as natural for people to be compassionate as it is for them to be mean and violent, then what makes people tend toward one end or the other? And what makes people change from one tendency to the other?

What especially interests me is what makes some children who are naturally sweet and kind become less so as they get older. Do they find that being nice to others doesn’t always mean others will be nice to them? Do they see bad things happen to nice people and to innocent animals? Are they taught that they should be wary of others because everyone is only looking out for himself? Were they treated unkindly and thus learned to treat others that way?

I know there isn’t one answer; that people are complex and that we are a product of our environment, upbringing and experiences, as well as some “hard-wiring” in our brains (as de Waal asserts), which makes all of us different and unique.

But I still can’t help wondering about these things, especially when I learn about disturbing incidents of children harming animals. A recent example is a cat and dog that had been set on fire by two boys, ages 9 and 12, in Kansas City. What makes this case even more disturbing is that both animals were their family pets. Thankfully, the cat recovered after receiving extensive medical treatment, including support from an American Humane Second Chance® Fund grant. Sadly, however, the dog did not survive.

Do I think it is “natural” for children -- or people of any age, for that matter -- to treat animals that way? Absolutely not. But I’m not naive; I know that the world is full of both unkind and kind people. On the kind side of this case, an intern at the University of Missouri veterinary school, where Phoenix was treated, told the Columbia Daily Tribune, “It’s extremely sad, but we’re lucky to get to help them [the injured animals that come in] and provide them with care and make them feel better.” Phoenix was helped by a number of kindhearted and compassionate individuals at the veterinary school, as well as at the KC Pet Program, which is now caring for Phoenix while she waits for someone to adopt her into a loving home.

I also can’t help but wonder whether the right “life lessons” taught to children could prevent these types of horrific things from happening. Could humane education learned at home, at school or at an animal shelter have made a difference for those kids and others like them? Humane education can teach character lessons that foster empathy and respect for others, which is why we’ve expanded our humane education program in the past few years. At the same time, we’ve increased our focus on studying The Link® between violence to people and violence to animals, in hopes of understanding this topic’s complexities, and providing information and tools that help parents, professionals and others recognize problems and take actions to prevent or stop abuse.

Are empathy and generosity basic to human nature? Are violence and selfishness? I want to say “yes” to the former and “I hope not” to the latter. But regardless of whether those good and bad traits are a natural part of human nature, I don’t think we should use nature as an excuse for not treating others with respect and compassion, and for not constantly wanting, and striving, to learn from our mistakes and make ourselves better than we are.

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