Who We Are

The Humane Exchange

American Humane's Blog

For Some, There’s Little to Love About Valentine’s Day

Posted February 12, 2009

I’ve been thinking about how for some, Valentine’s Day isn’t going to be all chocolates and roses.

American Humane is frequently contacted by women who, instead of celebrating on Feb. 14, will be desperately looking for ways out of abusive relationships that endanger themselves, their children and their pets.

Here are a few excerpts from these women’s emails:

• “I am in an emotionally abusive marriage, with a 5-year-old daughter and three rescue animals…I have tried local agencies but cannot get housing with my animals…I cannot stay in this relationship much longer, it is affecting my, my daughter's and one of my dog’s health.”
• “[Where I live] there is only an agreement for two weeks to shelter my pet at the humane society. I will probably have to live at the [women’s] shelter for at least two months…”
• “I am [dealing with] domestic [violence]. My best friends, my dogs and my cat, are in this with me…I can qualify for a women’s shelter, but I don’t want to leave my friends, the very ones that are keeping me alive, really, in this world.”

These heartbreaking accounts are a window into the tragic dilemma many women face. They may wish to leave their abusers, but cannot find sanctuary for their pets. Most women’s shelters do not offer on-site accommodations for animals. And in some cases, the women’s abusers may have threatened to harm or even kill their pets if they leave.

Anyone who views his or her pet as a family member can appreciate the difficulty of such a situation.

Consider the recent case in Orange County, Calif., in which a woman’s boyfriend allegedly attempted to choke her in a drunken rage. When she fled, her boyfriend would not let her take her 8-month-old puppy, Azure, with her. It appears that the boyfriend then attacked Azure with a sword; the dog was found wandering the neighborhood with multiple stab wounds.

In the article’s headline, the case is erroneously described as “rare” (one of our experts wrote to the Orange County Register to point out this mischaracterization). A 1998 study of women seeking shelter at safe houses showed that 71 percent of those with pets had abusers who had threatened, hurt or killed their companion animals.

This is why American Humane, through our Pets and Women’s Shelters (PAWS)™ Program, is working to help women’s shelters accommodate pets. The program, recently championed by pro-bono spokesperson Paula Abdul, is celebrating its one year anniversary this month, and I’m pleased to report that we have assisted 11 shelters so far.

It’s also why I encourage you to reach out to any friends or family members who may be trapped in abusive relationships. If they have pets, volunteer to be a short-term foster caretaker, or notify your local women’s shelter of our online PAWS Program Startup Guide. These are great ways to “have a heart” this Valentine’s Day -- and potentially even save a life.  

Learn more about The Link® between violence toward people and violence toward animals.

Bookmark this on del.icio.us   Digg this   Reddit this   StumbleUpon

Submit a comment or question below, or email us.

This is not an open forum, but American Humane welcomes all comments and points of view. We will post selected comments that are considerate and thought-provoking, and we may edit comments for brevity, grammar and/or inflammatory language.

Comments Form

Nickname
Comment
Enter this word:	Change