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ABCs and Empathy: Teaching Kids to Care

Posted April 17, 2008

Some parents play Mozart for their babies in hopes of enhancing intellect. Some purchase educational video games that promise to make reading and math enjoyable. Others, knowing that mastery of a sport usually starts early, require their kids to participate in Little League or basketball camp.

As a parent myself, I completely understand the desire to encourage intellectual, artistic and physical achievement. But with Be Kind to Animals Week® just ahead, the importance of teaching something even more basic -- and perhaps even more vital -- has been on my mind. How do children learn empathy? Why do some torment animals, and others stick up for them? And given that violence toward animals is linked to violence toward other people -- both in childhood and later in life -- why do some adults ignore or even excuse children’s cruelty to other living creatures?

There are no easy answers to these questions, but we can learn from each other and make a concerted effort to teach the children in our lives to be empathetic. I remember the first time I noticed empathy in my daughter, who is now grown. When I dropped her off at preschool one day, she asked me to watch over her favorite stuffed toy, a rabbit named Benjamin Bunny. I promised to do so. However, she was upset when I picked her up later and she saw shopping bags in the back seat. Recognizing that I had gone to the store, she incredulously asked, “You left Benjamin Bunny alone by himself? He must have been afraid!”

In retrospect, I think I unconsciously did something right: I “played along” with my daughter when she treated her toy like a friend, a response that legitimated her kind thoughts. Children often model adults’ behavior through their play; what may seem silly to an adult -- such as the welfare of a stuffed bunny -- may be very real for a child.

I asked Jane Greco Deming, director of humane education at American Humane, about other things adults can do to teach empathy. Here are a few of her suggestions:

Help a child collect items to donate. Something as simple as cleaning out a linen closet together and bringing old towels and blankets to your local animal shelter for pets’ bedding is a great way to teach kids that generosity feels good -- and makes a difference.
Show a child how to prepare for songbirds. Early spring is the perfect time to fill bird feeders and birdbaths or even build a new feeder out of recycled materials with a child. You can then use a field guide or the Internet to identify the birds that visit your yard. Helping and observing wild animals with children teaches them appreciation and respect for the natural world. 
Involve children in pet care. If you have a pet, asking children to walk the dog or exercise the cat -- and telling them how very much it means to the pet -- will have a powerful impact. Whenever we encourage children to consider how animals feel and what they need, they are learning priceless lessons about empathy and compassion.

Do you have ideas for teaching empathy?

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